


H-O-L-M-D-E-L

by UndulyBlue



Category: Hhs, Holmdel High School
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Other, Satire, Slow Burn, high school fanfic, original characters do not steal, political disconnect
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-18 22:05:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11883774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UndulyBlue/pseuds/UndulyBlue
Summary: Drabbles of our daily life as students at HHS. May contain swearing, injuries, sexual content, bruised egos, broken pride, and loss of dignity.





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> This is very stupid. Very very stupid. Eventual smut. 
> 
> Dedicated to my sanity, which has been lost forever.

Once upon a time in a dominantly white, partly Asian, wealthy, spread out suburban town there was a group of kids who wanted to change the world. Er, kind of.

You see, this town used to attract scientists, businesspeople, and creative minds alike to its crown jewel: Bell Labs. One of the most famous discoveries was astronomical. Here, cosmic microwave background radiation was discovered, giving way to proof of the Big Bang. But discoveries like that didn't come out of nowhere. In fact, they were so unsure of interference that the scientists spent weeks cleaning out bird shit from the satellite.

After a long while, the labs closed. No longer was science so profitable, and AT&T had moved on. The town's prestige began to fade along with the closure of the labs. A school once stocked with the offspring of bright minds began to dim. And so brings us to the present day, in the office space of a poorly funded school newspaper, where fourteen teenagers of varying degrees of Asian-ness sat sprawled in a classroom, guided by their wise and liberal mentor with kick-ass facial hair.


	2. We Plan to Crash a Party +Character expo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long block of text feat my opinions on people.

"So, we're storming the Politics club this Thursday. Who's in?" Kathryn presented the projected Google Doc with the Politics Club agenda, as it was attached to every Daily Announcement.

Perhaps we should take a minute to introduce everyone before the shit goes down. My name is Shayna although that's not my real name I just like to make life difficult for everyone. I like cats and Overwatch although I've only ever played with them like twice. Also I take a lot of pictures and talk a lot to attempt to get over chronic depression.

Kathryn is our badass co-head editor who does far too many things to be considered human. Shes also co-head editor of the yearbook with me. She's short and Asian but also very kind and full of rage at the same time. It's a trend among us short Asian people. It's like the taller you are the more mellow you get. Unless you're Boris. We'll get to him later.

The other co-editor is Allison. She also runs the lit mag and band at this point. Together Allison, Kathryn, and I are the short Asian girls who run the publishing trifecta at Holmdel High.

Trust me, yearbook committee sounds vapid and all but it is no joke. We aren't a stereotypical high school and it's hard to hold things together when people generally just don't give a fuck.

Joyce is more Kathryn and Allison's friend who is very bubbly and involved in the publishing trifecta too, while also being very sciency having characteristic short Joyce-hair. I don't know, it just looks like Joyce. You know it when you see it. She's also very artsy as you can art-see. (ha I made a pun)

Also present and short and Asian is Gloria, who is generally very quiet aside from memes, JRPG references, Vocaloid, other various video games, occasional artsy drawings, roasting people, and occasionally almost killing me. She's quiet because she listens to people and sometimes submits herself to the void. Basically don't mess with her but she's my meme friend and I love her but she's not gay as far as I know.

On the other hand is what is known as Brohn Chappa and justifies the gay rating on this fanfic. While they may not get work done on time, the collars between the tall Asian trombonist Brian and the also tall honorary Asian and casual comedian John are legendary. John is an expert at banter while Brian can smooth talk and charm his way into hearts. (curse you smooth talking pretty boy for detracting from my attempt at presidency)

Alex runs the sports section and is slightly shorter than Brian but just as Asian. They play tennis together and Alex annoys the crap out of people by pulling out a recorder and playing in class. Fucking band nerds.

Michael and Christina are the non-Asian support staff for the newspaper. Christina helps leaps and bounds with the sports section, being involved with them and basketball anyway. Michael is insanely good looking and cooks well which often makes people fawn over him but he has a lovely girlfriend and they go to New York and be photogenic together. He writes some of the articles but isn't present in the chat much.

Then come the junior editors Aidan, Dan, and Claudia. 2/3rds are Asian, 2/3rds are short, and neither is Dan. We like to bother the freshmen sometimes but they're not freshmen anymore. Claudia is my favorite because she was my personal junior editor for a bit and she's cute and likes this lazy Japanese egg. I hit Dan upside the head with a flashlight once when I managed the talent show. And Aidan is an enigma of weird drawings and league of legends.

Last but not least is my personal trifecta. Annie is tall and Asian and female which utterly confuses me sometimes. After you bleach someone's hair in their downstairs bathroom you tend to become friends. She's also very very artsy and good at what she does and loves food. I mean, who doesn't? But I could talk about fries for hours.

And then there's David, my ex-enemy, now-boyfriend, which came about in a rather confusing series of events that I would rather not go into right now. He's got a reputation for being a violent and disagreeable person and just being pretty damn edgy but he's also the reason why people don't touch me. I'm kinda happy that I can make him melt but we don't get into the sappy stuff until chapter nine at least.

Buckle up kiddos, we got a long way to go.

"I'm going, but I'm not bringing you guys. #casual sexism. Gotta blend in yo." John facetiously remarked.

I opened my mouth to say something then immediately shut it.

"Well we're storming it together, as a whole Sting staff." Allison reasoned.

"Well you see, we have to be polite and logical, despite the Politics Club's reputation of being, shall we say, unreasonable and not open to opposition." Mr. Dante, their widened liberal advisor who was critical of Trump and a lover of literature, chimed in. "They already have us labeled as a fake news source. That's got to be something."

"Do you think it had anything to do with Michael A?" Annie piped up.

Michael hadn't been chosen as a junior editor despite putting out some conservative articles that needed a bit of editing. Although it was nowhere near the opinion-disguised-as-news-article of "Trump on Twitter" that endured a legendary intense roast session by our Michael. Mysteriously, some weeks after Michael never returned, posters that advertised the Sting publishing articles with the "wrong" opinion of Trump were found. Mysterious.

"Possibly. But otherwise, meet here Thursday."

And with that, the meeting adjourned, only to lie in wait for the horrors that were in store at the political meeting.


	3. Group Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically I'm dragging this out because I'm still planning what exactly is going down at the anti-PC PC.

In a blur of quizzes, lessons, homework, and test prep, Thursday afternoon finally dawned for the ragtag group of mostly Asian mostly nerds. Michael was off with his girlfriend Olivia, declining to partake in the storming. Christina had practice, and Brohn Chappa had not arrived yet, either fashionably late or making out in a closet somewhere.

Instead, I lay sprawled across several desks just as Dante had scolded before, glancing to the side at the willing participants milling about the classroom. Kathryn was finishing some editing in Quark, eyebrows knitting as nothing was to be heard from her but the clicking of the keyboard and mouse, while Joyce stood cross-armed nearby, peering over her shoulder. Allison perched on a desk behind her, elbows to her knees and head in her hands. In another timeline they might have made an amazing Korean pop group. We just don't know.

Annie killed time by shading something in her sketchbook, loose staffs of hair dangling over her serene face. Gloria curled around her 3DS playing Animal Crossing. Dan, Claudia, and Aidan instead stood in the corner and bitched about chem homework, as everyone does in their sophomore year. And I, stretched out like a chiropractic cat, decided to annoy the stoic brooding prick that more resembled a raven than an incredibly Chinese boy that I had dragged along.

"Boop." I booped him on the nose

" _ **WHAT**_." he raged back. I was used to this. You have to get used to it with David around. He's a bit like a hedgehog except is able to play piano.

"Let's go get food. The tension is so thicc you could grab a handful of it."

"I thought the expression was 'cut it with a knife'," Annie chimed in.

 _"Potato tomato, I want a bagel._ Anyone else want anything?"

"Ooo get one of those loaf cake slices for me." Annie dismissed me with a wave.

"A couple of cookies too." Joyce requested. "Cafe cookies are pretty good."

I grabbed my wallet wristlet, took David by the elbow and whisked him away while totally not sneaking off to make out in an alcove along the way.

In the far, far reaches of the school (300s hall) our very own school cafe existed. The suburban wealthy white kid experience would not be complete without a coffee shop I suppose. I'm on good terms with the head chef though. And the mango smoothies are good although sugary. And I do like me a fresh, soft buttered bagel.

David came and ordered his pizza while I scooped up the requested items on a series of plates. We quickly made our way back to the Sting Office aka Dante's classroom where to our surprise, Dante finally got out of his faculty meeting.

"So, today's the big day, huh?" He announced to us, rubbing his hands together. It was like he was Yen Sid and we were all the sorcerer's apprentice. "Long time coming, and we have prepared well for this-"

It was that moment that Brian and John decided to burst in out of lateness shouting "WHO'S READY TO PARTAAAAAAY?!" while wearing obnoxiously bright colored and comically large sunglasses and Hawaiian shirts. Aaron followed quickly behind, decked out in his not-quite-Trump hat and an equally gaudy shirt.

Meet Aaron Levinson, the missing angle of their homoerotic threesome. Aaron is also an honorary Asian because he and John take Chinese despite Aaron being partly Mexican. Also he has a cat that he won't let me pet. One time David beat the shit out of him with a shoe and I got it on video because I am a horrible person.

John has three Instagram pages dedicated to him in varying degrees of John-ness. Basically he manages to charm over everyone from Republican to Democrat, black to white, male to female, Marvel to D.C, furry to vore, adult to small child, through his unique and calculated enviable eccentricity and wit.

However, if 90% of comedy is timing, then this was the great moment that made up for procrastinated papers.

"Alright John take a seat." Dante calmly directed them to sit amongst the U shape that the desks were arranged. The other staff memebers were already seated, breaking off bits of cookie or cake or bagel in my case and snacking as they were briefed.

"We are about to enter unknown and sensitive waters. Tread with caution. Make alliances where you can, but still be critical of their beliefs and your own. Logic must prevail, although it likely will not penetrate their echo chamber."

I could think of a your mom joke but that would be classless here.

"We must stick to ourselves, but also begin to understand the opposition. Know thy enemy."

"Last time Dante went with Kathryn and I. The topic was immigration. It was not pretty. Brace yourselves." Allison warned.

And with that final ominous suggestion, we marched to room 411 to sit through a Politics Club meeting.


End file.
